Read my blog…or die of rickets

I’ve recently been informed that in order to remain a citizen I must start a blog. I was also told that if I don’t start a blog, I will catch rickets & die. I dont really know what rickets are. And I dont want to die of rickets. So I’ve decided to start a blog. I figure if this blog saves me from dying of rickets it will be worth it.

My full name is Brian Scott McFadden. Brian is my first name. Scott is my middle name. And McFadden is my last name. So they are in order. I think its good to have three of anything. That way you can lose two & you always have one left.

I will be eating cantaloupe later today. People may judge me. But I will do it anyway. You can’t let people bully you into not eating the kind of fruit you like. Unless the kind of fruit you like is not something you want to eat. Then have a steak.

A lot of people say I am very funny. I am a comedian. I think there is probably a connection there somewhere. I also have an incredible breadth of psychological insight & have recently attained an astonishing level of spiritual awareness. I am also humble.

I have often been called dashingly handsome. I would like to change the frequency of this from OFTEN to ALWAYS. I am also 6-2. This seems to be a very important thing. Women like tall men. Women who have never met me have even asked me over the phone “How TALL are you?”

This is odd. Because asking a woman “How much do you WEIGH?” would be considered very rude. So the rule I guess is that it’s perfectly ok to ask someone for a random physical measurement…as long as it’s VERTICAL.

I consider most sitcoms on TV so bad that they almost qualify as war crimes.

I think the media exists in a symbiotic relationship with corporate power structures which blind it to its important responsibilities. I also like fudge.

I hate Doonesbury. I’m not even sure Doonesbury still exists. But I still hate it.

I love Richard Pryor, Charlie Chaplin, Bruce Springsteen, Marlon Brando, Bob Dylan, TS Eliot, Bill Hicks and Fountains of Wayne…

I often wonder if the guy who came up with the Heimlich maneuver gets royalties when someone uses it…

I often wonder why I wonder these things

These are merely a few of the many profound insights you will find here on my blog.